Wednesday, 7 September 2011

An Open Letter to My New Upstairs Neighbour

Dear Neighbour

Hi! Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you are so far enjoying your new surroundings and that everyone is being friendly and welcoming.

When you moved in, my housemate and I surmised that you must work long hours during the day, otherwise why would you consider it acceptable to drill and bang into the late hours of the night putting your Ikea Aspelund bed together. We gave you the benefit of the doubt and didn't complain, we know how hard it is to work and try to run a household, especially set up a new one. 

You seem to have finished the necessary building works but now I have discovered you feel that it is also acceptable to let your children run around on what is obviously wooden flooring late into the night when I am trying to get a peaceful night's sleep. Maybe you are vampires? Not having children of my own, I can only empathise and say that from the experience of friend's children, when they are young and wilful, it must be somewhat hard to get them into bed and stay there. However, I'm not sure Super Nanny would agree - after all YOU are the parent and THEY are the children. You can probably guess where I'm going with this.

PLEASE! Make your children stay in bed. Or at least wear industrial thickness socks so that I can't hear them banging around when I am trying to get my recommended 8 hours of slumber. Yes, this is London and we live on Albion Road, maybe peaceful is too much to ask, but I would like to go into work not looking like a shattered, bedraggled mess every day. I do not work in the fashion industry so I can't pull this off as the 'next big thing'. If you need recommendations for thick socks, I know Primark do some for about £1. I will GIVE you the £1 if it means I can get some sleep.

From your tired and irritable downstairs neighbour.

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